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Thursday, February 18, 2010

Marriarge Jokes

Rumah Kahwin

Seorang lelaki baru sahaja bertengkar dengan isterinya. Habis bertengkar, secara tiba-tiba sahaja isterinya terus mengemas barang-barangnya ke dalam beg.
" Kenapa ? " lelaki itu bertanya.
Isterinya terhenti sebentar. Dia merenung lelaki itu lalu berkata,
" Kita sudah berkahwin lebih lima belas tahun. Dalam masa itu, rumah ini tak pernah aman. Asyik bertengkar saja. Saya sudah tak tahan. Saya nak tinggalkan rumah ini ! "
Lelaki itu berfikir sebentar. Dia kemudian berlari ke dalam biliknya dan membawa keluar sebuah beg pakaian.
" Betul juga kata awak. Aku juga dah tak tahan dengan rumah ini. Aku nak ikut awak keluar dari rumah ini ! "

MORAL : Haruskah rumah dipersalahkan !


MARRIAGE (Part I)

Typical macho man married typical good-looking lady
and after the wedding, laid down the following rules: Ill be home
when I want, if I want and at what time I want- and I dont expect any hassle
from you. I expect a great dinner to be on the table unless I tell you. I'll
go hunting, fishing, boozing and card-playing when I want with my
old buddies and dont you give me a hard time about it. Those are my rules. Any comments?

His new bride said, No, thats fine with me. Just understand that there'll be sex here at ten oclock every night......whether you're here or not.


MARRIAGE (PART II)
Husband and wife had a bitter quarrel on the day of
their 40th wedding anniversary. The husband yells, When you die, I'm
getting you a headstone that reads, Here Lies My Wife - Cold As Ever.


Yeah? she replies. When you die, Im getting you a headstone that reads,
Here Lies My Husband - Stiff At Last.

MARRIAGE (PART III)
A husband (a doctor) and his wife are having a fight at the breakfast table. Husband gets up in a rage and says, And you are no good in bed either, and storms out of the house.
After sometime, he realises he was nasty and decides to make amends and rings her up. She comes to the phone after many rings and the irritated husband says, What took you so long to answer the phone? She says, I was in bed. In bed this late.....doing what? he asked.

Getting a second opinion!

MARRIAGE (PART IV)

A man has six children and is very proud of his achievement. He is so proud of himself, that he starts calling his wife, Mother of Six in spite of her objections. One night, they go to a party. The man decides that its time to go home and wants to find out if his wife is ready to leave as well.

He shouts at the top of his voice, Shall we go home Mother of six? His wife, irritated by her husbands lack of discretion
shouts right back, "Anytime you're ready, Father of Four! "


MARRIAGE (PART V)

A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving
each other the silent treatment. The next week the man realised that he
would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 am for a flight to Europe. Not
wanting to be the first to break the silence, he finally wrote on a of paper, Please wake me tomorrow morning at 5:00 am.

The next morning the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00am, and
that he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and see why
his wife had'nt woken him when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed....it said Its 5:00am, wake up.

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